Clear 365 Blogs

Michael Jackson's memorial: The unforgettable moments

Across the country, millions of viewers gathered in front of TV, movie and computer screens, at home, at work and in huge public spaces, to in some way take part in Michael Jackson's memorial . If you missed it -- or want to revisit a special moment or two -- here are a few of the service's highlights.

** The unprecedented public memorial drew thousands of emotional Jackson fans, along with countless police officers, street vendors and celebrities from Stevie Wonder and Lionel Richie to Wesley Snipes and Verne Troyer. Noticeably missing in person -- there, however, in spirit: Diana Ross, Quincy Jones, Elizabeth Taylor, Nelson Mandela and Liza Minnelli. But where was poor Bubbles?

** 'He made you believe in yourself,' Queen Latifah said of MJ, explaining she was on stage to represent Michael's 'millions of fans.' (She was also there to read a lovingly written poem by Maya Angelou, penned as a tribute to the late King of Pop.) But she was just one of many who felt that way about the brilliant, troubled superstar.

** In one of the memorial's most touching and honest tributes, a teary-eyed Brooke Shields likened Michael to 'The Little Prince' and recalled, 'when we were together, we were two little kids having fun.'

** Jermaine's beautifully performed version of Michael's favorite song, 'Smile' -- which he sang wearing a single, sparkling glove, no less -- was a touching tribute. So was Marlon's bittersweet story about the time he ran into his brother (in disguise) at the grocery store. But when MJ's 11-year-old daughter Paris choked back her tears long enough to whisper, 'I just wanted to say I love him so much' -- and call him 'Daddy' -- that's when everyone pretty much lost it.

** What would a Michael Jackson memorial be without 'We Are the World'? There wasn't a dry eye in the house after this closing number.

More Michael Jackson on Clear365

Remembering Michael: A look back at his life and career

The King of Pop: MJ's music and videos

Neverland Ranch: The West Coast Graceland?

Sentimental service says goodbye to a legend -- and a man

Even in defeat, Lance Armstrong's a winner

In this  July 11, 2009 file photo, seven-time Tour de France winner Lance Armstrong, left, and teammate-rival Alberto Contador climb toward Col de Port, France, during the 8th stage of the 2009 Tour de France. Contador and Armstrong are sniping again after breaking their fragile race-time truce. (AP Photo/Christophe Ena)

Lance Armstrong finished third in the 2009 Tour de France, but that further cemented his legacy as the greatest cyclist of all time. This latest finish, at the ripe age of 37, came after a three-year hiatus from cycling and the recent birth of son Max. And Armstrong climbed into that position with the same attacking style that allowed him to win a record seven Tours.

Armstrong earned the respect of many with his strong performance, including the French press, which had criticized him on many occasions in the past, accusing him of doping. This year, even French sports daily L'Equipe had to give Armstrong his due, running the headline "Chapeau, Le Texan" which roughly translates as, "Hats Off, Texan." Teammate-rival Alberto Contador, however, continued to snipe at Armstrong in the aftermath of the tour.

Going into the tour, Team Astana had no clear leader, a rare situation in cycling. As the tour's rugged climbs took their toll, it became apparent that Armstrong could not keep up with two-time champion Contador. Armstrong recently announced that he will race again next year, with Radio Shack as his sponsor. Contador will likely go another route, having said that his relationship with Lance is "zero." Armstrong's graceful handling of the outspoken Spaniard has only served to solidify his reputation for good sportsmanship. As the Tour winner, Contador's remarks make him look petty and childish, while Lance comes across as gracious in defeat.

Armstrong also reinforced his claim that he is the most tested athlete of all time, voluntarily engaging in one of the most rigorous anti-doping programs ever. Armstrong has never failed a drug test, even though he has been one of the most heavily scrutinized athletes in the history of sport.

Lance also said the benefits to his charity, the Lance Armstrong Foundation, were a major motivating factor to continue cycling. He noted that while most charities have been forced to downsize, his foundation's revenues have actually been up this year, a fact he attributes largely to his comeback. Lance Armstrong will return next year to cement his legacy -- and maybe, just maybe, put the perfect capstone on an already unequaled career.

-- Christopher Handel, Clear365 Sports

Check the latest sports headlines, scores, videos and more at Clear365 Sports

10 Items: Easy ways to keep your stress at bay

1. Spend a week without TV
We know you can't get enough summer reruns, but maybe it's time to turn off the tube. We hate to break it to ya, but TV programming isn't all it's cracked up to be. These days, it seems the best we can expect is some whacked-out reality-show nut case (ahem, 'The Bachelor') that gets our blood boiling and catty 'ANTM' wannabes squealing about anything and everything -- even '24' is giving us high blood pressure. And as much as we can't wait to kick back on the couch with our remote after a long day, our brains could definitely use a break. Trade in your television for a week of something more rewarding instead: Read a book, go for a walk, work out at the gym or cook a nice meal with a few friends -- the possibilities are endless! We promise you won't miss your TV one bit ... besides, we know you've got a DVR.

2. Do stress-relieving exercises
Everyone's got their own "Joe in Accounting," that guy you wish you could just implant your fist into his face to make him stop talking. But since we're not advocates of inflicting violent behavior on living beings -- not even Joe -- we suggest alleviating your stress on inanimate objects, instead. Try this easy exercise to release some of that pent-up stress: First, stand about three feet from a wall (you'll have to adjust the distance for your specific height). Reaching out with both arms, lean at an angle into the wall and press with all your might; your body should form a triangle with the wall and the floor. Keep your feet locked on the floor so your Achilles tendons get a really good stretch. The further you stretch and harder you press, the more tension you'll release from your hamstrings. (Did you know your hamstrings are one of the first muscle groups to store tension? Now you do.) 

3. Soak in a hot bath
Ever consider a bubbly to chase away your woes? No, we don't mean drowning your sorrows in Champagne. Sometimes the best solution to a stressful day is taking a nice relaxing bubble bath. Add music, candles and maybe some wine or hot chocolate and just revel in the calm. Afterwards, you can watch those worries run down the drain along with your left-over bubbles. We're pretty sure you'll feel a whole lot better -- and have much softer skin.

4. S-L-O-W down
Let's face it, the rat race is taking its toll on our mental health. Really, when was the last time you stopped to smell the roses? If your response indicates circa 1989, then we're going to have to stage an intervention. Stop whatever it is you're doing (yes, that evens includes putting down the BlackBerry) and listen up: A stressed mind tends to run in circles. If you take the time to slow down your pace, you'll begin to feel a lot more relaxed. That's not only good for your overall well-being, it'll help you think more clearly, too.

5. Laugh
Whoever said "laughter is the best medicine" was onto something -- there's no antidote to the pressures of life like a good hearty laugh. And the great thing about laughter is it's not too hard to come by. Some of our favorite ways to find the funny stuff: (1) Have a comedy night -- an entire evening watching funny films or comedians on DVD; (2) grab a bite or a drink with the friend who always makes you crack up; (3) keep a humor journal to write down every hilarious thing that happens to you during the day, or quote you overhear; or (4) visit one of the many online joke sites each morning to put you in a good mood. Whatever you decide, have your first laugh on us! (Please note that we don't suggest trying any of the funny stress-relief tips on this page at home.)  

6. Take an entire night to yourself
In today's hectic world of "people to see, places to be," finding time for yourself can be quite a challenge. When the going gets rough, though, get going on a night of uninterrupted bliss -- doing absolutely nothing. Lounge around in your PJ's, order in, rent a movie, do whatever your heart desires. If you want to dress up (or down, as the case may be) like Tom Cruise in 'Risky Business' and slide across your living-room floor, we will by no means try to stop you. In all seriousness, taking a night off can really help release tension. So don't hesitate to pencil -- scratch that -- Sharpie some time in for yourself.

7. Treat yourself to a mini vacation
We all need a break from the nine-to-five sometimes and we shouldn't feel bad about it. Unfortunately, we don't all have the luxury of jetting off for a two-week vacation in the Bahamas. But you should never cheat yourself out of a mini vacation from time to time. And by "vacation," we're not saying you need to go all-out with a five-page itinerary filled with activities galore: We simply mean a time for you to relax. So if spending an afternoon frolicking among the monkeys at the local zoo makes you happy, hey, who are we to judge?

8. Spearmint oil to the rescue!
What could be better than smelling like roses? How about smelling like fresh mint? When your mind is tired and in need of a picker-upper, dab a little spearmint oil on your temples and the back of your neck -- known as an all-natural stress-reliever and remedy for headaches, migraines and fatigue, it'll have you smelling and feeling like a million bucks in no time. An added benefit: Spearmint oil is also super useful as a cure for digestive problems (i.e. constipation, flatulence, diarrhea, nausea), as it helps relax the stomach muscles, too. This one smells like winner to us!

 

9. Exercise
We know this one actually requires some work, but as much as we'd like to avoid it, regular exercise can do wonders for the mind and body. Some of us find exercising more enjoyable than others, but there are options for everyone. If running on a treadmill at the gym makes you feel like a hamster, be creative and try something else: Ride a bike, go for a hike with your dog, try roller skating with friends. Even playing Nintendo's Wii Fit and other fun, sports-themed video games can make you break a sweat. Need a place to start? Just jogging in place or doing jumping jacks while you watch your favorite TV show can be a great beginning. Whatever your activity of choice, keep at it and you'll feel better in no time.

10. Try belly breathing
This last one is really easy and once you get the hang of it you can do it practically anytime and anywhere! Follow the simple steps below, setting aside 10 minutes a day to just sit and breathe. You'll be surprised at how much everything slows down to a more comfortable pace. (More than once when we've done it, we got so relaxed we started to snore. Enough said.)

-- Sit in a relaxing position with your legs apart.
-- Put your hands on your stomach. Using your stomach breathe in slowly through your nose. If you are doing it right your stomach will expand and you'll feel it with your hands.
-- Breathe out slowly through your nose and do it with some force so you feel your stomach pull slightly inwards towards your spine.
-- Breathe in and out 30 times. Take slow and deep breaths.
-- After you have taken 30 breaths and focused on counting them you should not only feel more relaxed and centered. Your body will also be able to continue breathing in this manner without you focusing on it.

Until next time ...

-- Jennifer Lee & Joyce Liao, Clear365 Bloggers

Whether you're looking for tunes to power up your workout or soothe your soul, download them all at ClearMusic

10 ITEMS OR LESS: Top websites to bookmark during a recession

  

1. Barterquest.com & Swaptree.com
Ever wish you could get a little something for the loads of junk piled up in your closet? (Let's be honest here, you're never going to wear that sweater your aunt-who's-not-really-your-aunt Edna gave you last Christmas.) Instead of letting it pile higher, take your "junk" to Barterquest or Swaptree and find out what modern-day trading is all about! If you're looking to trade entertainment items (music, movies, etc.), head over to Swaptree. For a wider range of goods and services, check out Barterquest. They say one man's trash is another man's treasure -- so let the looting begin!

2. Bookmooch.com & Freeloadpress.com
You know those books you have stacked under the left end of your coffee table, to offset its always-lopsided leg? Or the ones you never quite got around to reading -- you know, the ones you're using as bedroom-door stops now? Well, the folks at BookMooch have a better use for them. When you join BookMooch's online community, you get to exchange your old or unused books for the ones you'd really like. Check the site out for yourself; you might be surprised at how many people actually want your paperback Danielle Steel romance novels. 

As every starving college student knows, it can be hard shelling out hundreds of dollars for textbooks when you can find a million more entertaining ways to spend your money. (That 'Principles of Biology' book really pales in comparison to the pair of shoes you've been eyeing for months. Do not despair, though, there is hope: Freeload Press offers affordably priced e-books and study aids (from $0 - $40, depending on the format you choose). Life can be good once again -- new shoes, here you come!

 

3. Etsy.com
Let's face it, sometimes the ol' 9 to 5 just doesn't bring in the dough as much as we'd like. But if you've got a little creativity up your sleeve and want to make a few extra bucks, then Etsy could be the place for you. The only criterion is that the items you put up for sale on Etsy.com be completely handmade -- don't go buying plastic combs from your local 99 Cents Only store and expect to make a fortune on re-sales. Don't think you've got it in you? Take a look at the site, anyway. You might be pleasantly surprised.

 

4. Skype.com
There's a price to pay for going international ... and we're seeing it in our phone bills. A recent call to a friend in Niger, for example, cost 50 cents a minute. That limited the conversation to about 4.5 minutes, two of which were spent on our explanation that future calls would be few and far between, as a direct result of the slumping economy. Then we discovered Skype, a downloadable software that allows you to connect with all of your globe-trotting friends and family via your computer. Skype offers super-affordable rates on international calls -- even better, if both parties are Skype users, the call is totally free. We're sorry to say, you now have no excuse to avoid those nagging phone calls from your mother-in-law.

         

5. Travelzoo.com & Homeexchange.com
Every penny saved counts, but when you can score a four-night Las Vegas vacation that includes airfare and show tickets starting at just $120, it's time to make an exception! Find great deals like this -- as well as to destinations all over the world -- on Travelzoo. Looking to penny-pinch even more? HomeExchange, a site where travelers connect to trade homes for their vacations, is an excellent hotel alternative. The only cost is a $99 one-year membership fee, but if you don't make an exchange in your first year, you get a second year for free. The site, by the way, was featured in the romantic comedy, 'The Holiday'; Cameron Diaz used it to swap homes with Kate Winslet, and enjoyed a lovely getaway in England.

 

6. Mint.com & Wesabe.com
How many of us have tried (and failed) to keep our New Year's resolutions to better track our finances and balance our checkbooks? During these tough times when money is tight, it's especially important to budget wisely. To get you on track once and for all, we suggest Mint, a free online personal-finance tool that helps with bookkeeping, realistic budget-setting and money-saving tips. It's like having your very own personal financial consultant, minus the hassle and fees. And to virtually meet and mingle with other budget-conscious people like yourself, click over to Wesabe, an online community dedicated to pooling users' information to help you make more informed financial decisions.

7. Retailmenot.com
So you've been extra good with your savings lately, and maybe want to treat yourself a little. That doesn't mean you need to make a huge dent in your wallet, though. Before you buy anything, head over to Retailmenot and choose from the site's selection of discount coupons from more than 20,000 stores. And because we don't all live like the Amish and make our own toothpaste, the site's not just for splurges: You can also find great deals for everyday shopping spots like Target and Walgreens.

 

8. Fatwallet.com & Slickdeals.net
For the most serious deal-hunters, community-oriented sites such as FatWallet and Slickdeals feature a growing network of savvy shoppers who tirelessly scour for the very best deals, then share their discoveries on online forums. While you may not find any bargains for that 60-inch TV you've been dreaming about, you just might come across an awesome 2-for-1 deal on a memory card for your digital camera. If you've got the time and the patience, these are definitely worth a look.

Until next time ...
Happy deal-finding!

Jennifer Lee & Joyce Liao, Clear365 Bloggers

When you're done surfing the Web, come back to ClearEntertainment

REALITY CHECK: Learn the true story behind 'Sunshine Cleaning'

Bloodstains, vomit and human excrement stain the floor and walls of an eerily empty house. Two young women dragging loads of cleaning supplies enter to find their work cut out for them, a job that at first looks like more than they bargained for. But the women have taken on this job in order to build better lives for themselves.

This is a scene from the movie 'Sunshine Cleaning,' and the two women are actresses, Amy Adams and Emily Blunt. But for the real-life employees of CTS Decon (Crime and Trauma Scene Decontamination) companies across the country, mopping up bodily leftovers is just another day's work. Sound disgusting? It is. And though it may not seem like it, for many people, it's also a highly lucrative career -- so long as you can stand the smell.

Two companies that perform CTS Decon services for clients in the wake of tragedy are Amdecon, Inc. and Aftermath, Inc., the latter of which was recently featured on NBC's 'Today' show. Each company provides a range of services that vary in price and gruesomeness factor, depending on the circumstances.

According to its website, Amdecon provides suicide, blood, human decomposition, gross filth property, industrial accident, black water and sewage-spill clean-up services. On Aftermath's site, it offers homicide, suicide, unattended death, automobile/vehicle blood clean-up and gross property/tear gas remediation clean up. Prices can reach up to $600 an hour.

Both companies also emphasize additional reasons for selecting their services in particular. Aftermath, for example, stresses that they are "tragedy" clean-up specialists, only beginning work after crime-scene tape has been removed and no police or paramedics remain. Amdecon -- which uses the tagline, "Call 911. Then call us" -- claims to give 100% of its profits to the non-profit Suicide Aftercare Association.

If you've ever found yourself trudging through the kinds of dead-end jobs and socially awkward situations as the characters in 'Sunshine Cleaning,' you might understand why putting on a biohazard suit and mopping up dried blood doesn't seem like such a bad alternative. CTS Decon companies even provide various types of assistance to help new staffers get their feet wet, so to speak.

Among its new-employee incentives, for instance, Amdecon provides bio-recovery training DVDs, disposable liquid face shields, and an exam and certification package (to make sure everyone's authentic and legal). And though there are no guarantees, some bio-cleaners' annual incomes can top top six figures, depending on how much they charge. Not bad for people who often don't have college degrees. Still, exactly how much a CTS Decon worker brings home also depends on who they know, and connections are needed -- such as with funeral homes, hospitals, insurance companies and local police -- to make the most financial impact.

Finally, there's the incentive of providing a valuable service for people who would prefer not to be burdened with cleaning up the remains of loved ones themselves. Beyond the physical act of cleaning up, CTS Decon employees have been known to emotionally comfort clients, acting as sort of morbid trauma counselors for the bereaved. Kind of like Sigmund Freud meets Edgar Allen Poe, if you will.

If a career in CTS Decon sounds appealing to you, here are a few key points to keep in mind:

- CTS Decon companies can be found in all 50 states, and there's even a "virtual training academy"
- No college degree is needed. Just go through the necessary training and certification process, and cleaning up everything from homicide scenes to meth labs is only a phone call away
- Want to start your own CTS Decon business or franchise? That'll require extra specialized training, and taking steps including obtaining a hazardous materials license -- but the rewards can make it all worthwhile
- In all seriousness, trauma- and biohazard-scene clean-up is important work that can mean a great deal to people in unfortunate circumstances. If you need 'em, call 'em. If you like 'em, join 'em.

Enough said. Now watch the trailer for 'Sunshine Cleaning' ...

-- Ted Goslin, Clear 365 Blogger

Find the latest movie news, reviews, trailers and more on ClearEntertainment

Images: 'Sunshine Cleaning,' Overture Films

REALITY CHECK: Learn the true story behind 'Southland'

She was speeding south on the 405 freeway, straddling the edge of disaster. In her 2002 Toyota Corolla, she zoomed past exit after exit, without regard for safety or surroundings. The crime had been committed, and only destiny could stop her now.

That, or an army of police cars. 

This sounds dramatic, but for the officers of the Los Angeles Police Department, barricading the city's already congested freeways in the name of justice is all part of the job. But it's just one part. Every day, the LAPD responds to calls ranging from high-octane car chases to gang violence to domestic disputes. Often, L.A.'s boys (and women) in blue are commended for their efforts. Other times, though -- deservedly or not -- they've been given a pretty bad rap.

That's not the case on the NBC television series 'Southland,' which claims to "take a raw and authentic [but dramatized] look at Los Angeles and the lives of the officers who police it." Though the show's characters certainly have their flaws, it depicts the LAPD as a collection of brave, hard-working human beings who even have a sense of humor. They strive to help people -- and help themselves -- as best they can, but are often restricted by the city and have to settle with just doing their jobs. 

Sometimes lives are saved. Sometimes they aren't. 

Is this what happens in real life? For the most part, yes, says one mid-level LAPD patrolman, who we'll call "Officer Paul." (Because of the sensitivity of his position -- and department regulations -- he asked that we not reveal his real name. But since he watches 'Southland,' he wanted to comment.)

According to Officer Paul, while some aspects of the show are accurate, such as its personal stories and humorous cop banter, some specific police procedures are for entertainment value only. 

"They create the show for the audience," the officer says. "It's a good show, but it's just for entertainment."

For example, he explains, the cops on 'Southland' sometimes respond to calls outside of LAPD jurisdiction, areas where in real life, different police divisions would be called in to handle.

Additionally, says Officer Paul, chasing suspects on foot and getting into shoot-outs may be a regular occurrence on the show, as it makes for good TV. But in real life, when those life-or-death moments occur, you're rarely prepared for them. 

"Pursuit is the most dangerous thing I've done on the job," he adds.

There are other discrepancies on 'Southland,' too, according to the officer. On one episode, for instance, a detective who's recovering from a car accident realizes his gun is missing, but he doesn't report it.

"You don't do that," Officer Paul says. "If you lose your gun, you report it."

He also questions the "hot shot" attitude of one of the show's central characters, first-year cop Ben Sherman (actor Benjamin McKenzie). "When a rookie cop isn't paying attention to his commanding officer and acts like a hot shot, he most likely would be warned once and then terminated if it happened again," he says.

"Officer Jake," who wrote about 'Southland' on his wife's blog, LAPDwife.com, was also struck by certain characters' behavior, noting that in real life, it would "guarantee you a trip to internal affairs, a beef or losing your job." And he noticed right away that "details were wrong throughout" the show, some of them major. In his less-than-thrilled review, Officer Jake did grudgingly admit that the cop humor and generalizations were fairly right on, but much of the department language was clearly outdated or being used incorrectly. (Code 7, for example, is no longer used by the LAPD.) 

But if 'Southland' can get the heart of an LAPD officer right, how much do technical discrepancies matter -- especially to viewers who aren't directly involved in law enforcement? 

"Everybody has their own perceptions of what the LAPD is," says Officer Karen Rayner, LAPD Media Relations. Though she hasn't watched 'Southland' yet, Rayner says she enjoys cop shows and their portrayal of the police. "Shows like 'Dragnet' brought the department positive attention, and as long as they do that it's a wonderful thing," she says.

Despite 'Southland' having some unrealistic aspects, it does seem to contain the essence of what it means emotionally and personally to be a police officer. And ultimately, says Officer Paul, it's the humor between officers regarding unusual arrests, or wild events on the show that make the series work.

"Cops do drink and joke around a lot, like on the show," he says. "The best part of the job is the people you work with."

Still on the fence about 'Southland'? These suggestions should help:

          -- Go on a ride-along with the real-life cops. Many police departments allow residents to "ride along" with officers on their shifts, to encourage a better understanding of the risks and rewards of police work. Contact your city's police department for details.

          -- Check out the LAPD blog, LAPDwife.com or search the Web for other police-related sites. You'll likely find something that's actually enlightening -- or at least fun to read.

          -- Forget all this "dramatization" stuff: 'Cops' is on!

And there you have it. Now take aim and tune in to 'Southland'

-- Ted Goslin, Clear365 Blogger

Get the latest TV, movie and celebrity news and gossip with a click: ClearEntertainment

10 ITEMS OR LESS: Go green, save green!

Even if you already consider yourself among Mother Earth's "green" helpers because you're committed to the cardinal rules of eco-friendliness -- reduce, reuse and recycle -- there's tons more we can do to help green our environment. To start, check out these 10 easy ways to save our planet's most valuable resources -- and save a bundle of money, too!

1. Filter your tap water
We know you've got talent, but if you aren't planning to craft a chandelier out of those empty plastic water bottles, we suggest buying a filter and purifying your tap water instead. Not only is bottled water expensive, but it generates large amounts of container waste. And these days, eco-obsessives aren't the only ones hooked on re-usable water bottles. All the hipsters and celebrities are also following suit, and environmentally conscious brands including Sigg and Klean Kanteen offer bottles in a variety of sizes and colors. If not for the sake of protecting our planet, at least do it to look cool. (We won't tell.)

2. Freecycle!
We're all familiar with recycling, but what do you know about Freecycling? Websites such as Freecycle.org allow users to post free classified ads to get rid of old furniture, appliances and whatever else you might have collecting dust in the garage. Instead of throwing your unused stuff away, list it on Freecycle and connect with someone who will happily pick it up and put it to good use. (Think 'Garage Sale 2.0!') And the next time you're looking for a one-of-a-kind armoire, check your local Web listings before aimlessly scouring neighborhood yard sales. You'll thank us for saving you the gas money, too.

3. Unplug appliances
Unless you run a microwave-foods catering service and need to deliver freshly heated Chef Boyardee meals all day, there's no reason your microwave needs to be plugged in all the time. That goes for your toaster oven, TV, stereo and most everything else you've got plugged in around the house. Unplugging appliances when you're not using them saves a great deal of energy -- and that means savings on your monthly energy bill. If you'd rather not pull plugs in and out, use a "smart" power strip that senses when appliances are off, and prohibits "phantom" or "vampire" energy use. By the way, if you do have a wildly successful microwave-foods catering service, would you mind sharing your business model?

 

4. Pack light
We're all guilty of doing this: packing enough clothes to last a month for a weekend visit to Grandma's house. You may think the worst consequence of overpacking is maybe busting the zipper on your suitcase, but did you know that by overstuffing your luggage, you're indirectly harming the environment? According to studies, every extra 10 pounds an air traveler packs requires an additional 350 million gallons of jet fuel per year; that's enough to keep a 747 flying non-stop for 10 years! The next time you take a Hawaiian vacation, do Mother Earth a favor: Leave your snow jacket at home.

 

5. Cut out the junk mail
Ask yourself this question: Do you really need those random credit-card offers, pizza-delivery coupons and teeth-whitening promo ads (from some dentist you'll never visit) that show up in your mailbox every week? You know what we're talking about: Every year, 100 million trees are chopped down and turned into junk mail, and U.S. households receive more than 400 million tons of it annually. But according to Earthworks Group, cutting out junk mail is one of the most effective things we can do to reduce waste and pollution. To give your mailbox a junk-free makeover, register with the Direct Marketing Association's Mail Preference Service. We're sure you won't miss too many of those "deals" on hard-to-find collector's stamps and limited-edition porcelain dolls.

 

6. Eat green
Before you get down on all fours and start grazing on your front lawn, take a look at these 3 "green eating" solutions instead. (With these, at least the neighbors won't stare.)

-- Patronize restaurants, bars and coffee houses that recycle, practice energy and water conservation, serve organic food, and/or use biodegradable, tree-free products. Find a growing list of Certified Green restaurants here.

-- Buy locally raised, humane and organic meat, eggs and dairy products. That ensures you're getting the freshest, highest-quality food -- and helps keep money in the local economy.

-- Download the Shopper's Guide to Pesticides in Produce. This wallet-size list will help you sort the fruits and veggies that are usually higher in pesticides (like apples and spinach) from those that are lower (like bananas and peas).

 

7. Clean the air -- with houseplants
Going green doesn't have to happen on a global scale, it can begin right in your home. Studies show that the air in our homes can be just as polluted as outdoor air, thanks in part to the cleaning products we use. Fortunately, common houseplants do more than brighten up a room: They actually help remove formaldehyde, benzene, carbon monoxide and other nasty air pollutants. Think you don't have a green thumb? Not a problem! We suggest picking up a couple of easy-to-tend leafy toxin fighters, such as Lady Palm, Golden Pothos, English Ivy and Peace Lilies. (If formaldehyde won't kill them, they should be just fine on your window sill.)

8. Pass on the pore-pluggers
We don't mean to raise a stink, but the next time you buy deodorant, avoid anti-perspirants that rely on aluminum salts to seal up your pores. Instead, try an equally effective natural alternative, like Toms of Maine, available most anywhere that carries eco-friendly products. Why? As well as being a potential toxin, aluminum takes a tremendous amount of energy to mine. In fact, the energy you'll save by using just one stick of aluminum-free deodorant could power your laptop for 30 minutes! And if you're going to sweat through the suspense of that '24' episode on your laptop anyway, why not save the planet while you're at it? (We bet that's how Jack Bauer rolls.)

9. "Green" your laundry
No, we're not referring to the time you accidentally mixed that oddball lime-colored sock in with your whites. Research shows that as much as 85% of the energy used in clothes washers goes to heating the water, which means washing your clothes in cold whenever possible significantly reduces energy costs. In addition, switching to eco-friendlier detergents, fabric softeners and bleaches will also benefit the environment, including local wildlife. And we all know line-drying our clothes can save an enormous amount of energy, but for those rainy days when you have no choice but to tumble, consider adding dryer balls to cut drying time.

10. Download music
The '80s had cassette tapes, the '90s had CDs; now get with the times and start downloading your tunes! Each month, more than 45 tons of CDs become obsolete -- outdated or unwanted -- and end up in landfills. But before you convert all your CDs to digital and throw the hard copies away, look for stores in your area that buy unwanted discs. When you're done with that, click over to ClearMusic and treat yourself to some fresh selections (on MP3, of course). Registered Clearwire/Clear users get a 25% discount on every purchase.

Until next time, happy Earth Day!

-- Joyce Liao and Jennifer Lee, Clear365 Bloggers

For more money-saving tips -- plus the latest news, entertainment and music headlines and videos -- keep your homepage set on Clear365.com

Wednesday 4/22/2009

Android Manifesto: Bizarre USB devices

By Dave Conde

USB ports (or Universal Serial Bus, if you're nasty). You've got a few of them in your computer right now. And like anything else, if you've got an open port, there are people lined up to stick something in it. And most of the time it will be a bad idea.

At first, you plugged your mouse, printer, or blackberry into your USB port and that was fine. Then they invented those memory sticks, aka thumb drives, and that was fine, too. Until they ruined it.

Case in point:
Mooncake Drive
 
It's a little thumb drive in the shape of a traditional Chinese pastry that would be eaten during the Mid-Autumn Festival. That's fine, kinda cute, but it opens the door, see. It makes you realize that a thumb drive could look like anything.

Teddy Bear Drive
 

Speaking of cute, who wouldn't like to have a little teddy bear on their desk? And when you need to use the memory, just rip its little head off and jam the stump of a neck into your USB port.

Ahem, Humping Dog Drive

I can imagine the product design session:
''The decapitated teddybears did well. What should our next thumb drives look like?''
''How about some cute dogs? Everyone likes dogs.''
''I like it! We also have these little motors we can put in the drives so they will move. What kind of movement would a little dog stuck into your computer make?''
''I know! Why don't we make the dog look like it is hu...''

Does the Japanese language not have words for ''No, sir. I don't think that's a good idea''? (If you've read ahead, you know the answer is ''No''.)  I try not to judge other cultures, but the caption on their website for the above picture is ''USB meets LOVE.'' Oh, and they have a movie of the dogs. I can't in good conscience recommend that you watch it.

Webcams
Another common USB appliance is the webcam. What could go wrong?

Bunny Webcam

Well, the cuteness trend continues with the brilliant idea of shoving the camera into a little bunny. (The camera lens is in its nose.) What could be untoward about a webcam that doesn't look like a webcam? Best case-"Nanny"cam. Worst case-"Unsuspecting coed"cam.

Microscope cam

OK, I'll admit that there's not too much wrong with a microscope that connects to your computer. Sure, you'll only use it twice before shoving it in a drawer, but that's true about most gadgets. I showed you this mostly to show the progression to our next item...

Endoscope cam

At this point, you're either wondering what an endoscope is or you're shifting uncomfortably in your seat, possibly crossing your legs. For the benefit of the first group, an endoscope is the little, but not little enough, camera that they shove into various bodily orifices to look for polyps and whatnot. Now, officially, this USB version is not for internal use. It's for looking under furniture and around corners. But you know and I know that a bunch of these are going up somewhere they really shouldn't.
There, now we're all squirming uncomfortably in our seats.

Join me again next week for part two, where we will see what other body parts can be violated by USB devices.

--Dave Conde is refraining from posting the pictures of the more, um, anatomical adult novelties that are USB compatible. You and your therapist should thank him for that. Send your flash drives and comments to: androidmanifesto@clear365.com

	Android Manifesto: Girl Scout Cookie Facts    Android Manifeto: Things that shouldn't vibrate    Android Manifesto: 'Battlestar'-Old versus New    Android Manifesto: People don't talk so good no more    Android Manifesto: 'Star Wars' holiday quiz

Android Manifesto: 7 Signs of the Bacopocalypse

By Dave Conde

 

''Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The swine cannot hear the swineherd;

Eggs fall apart, the skillet cannot hold.

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world''

   From the Revelation of St. Porcine

Since the first hog was butchered, prophets have been predicting the Bacopocalypse. One need not be a prophet, however, to see the signs. Just look around you, or better yet just scroll down to witness the dread portents.

Sign #1: Bacon in a can

                               

• What?

It's bacon. In a can. MREdepot.com proudly offers these cans by the case to line the walls of your secret underground bunker.

• Why it's a dread omen of the Bacopocalypse:

While many dismiss them as crackpots, survivalists perform an invaluable service as society's canary in the coalmine. Their tendency to overreact to the smallest possible threat makes them the first to see the signs. When squirrels hoard extra nuts in their burrows, you can expect a long winter. When survivalists are stockpiling bacon in their burrows, it's time to get frying.

Sign #2: Bacon Soap

• What?

This is NOT generic novelty soap squished into a bacon-shape like some McRib. This is real, old school soap made out of real bacon grease. If you saw Fight Club then you know that soap is made from fat; it might as well be bacon.

• Why it's a dread omen of the Bacopocalypse:

You know you always wanted to rub bacon all over your naked body. Some of you have already tried it. Now you can do it without being mobbed by the neighborhood dogs afterward.

Sign #3: Bacon Bra

• What?

Or maybe you need to take it a step further and have to feel pure bacon on your flesh. For you, or for your girlfriend (in which case it's really being done for you, and you owe her big time), we have the bacon brassiere. Note that the straps are removable to minimize tan lines and provide a tasty snack.

• Why it's a dread omen of the Bacopocalypse:

What are the two greatest sources of power in the universe? Boobs and bacon, obviously. (It was a rhetorical question.) Putting them together is like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters. Is it going to make all life as we know it stop instantaneously and every molecule in your body explode at the speed of light? Well, I haven't heard a single one of your so-called ''scientists'' claim that it won't. Not one. That's a unified scientific consensus right there.

Sign #4: Bacon Tuxedo

• What?

It's a Bacon Scented Bacon Print Tuxedo. Imagine what you could do wearing a tux made of to look like bacon. This guy didn't get a girl like that in no seersucker suit. No how. But with this tux and matching bow tie, you can tell that he's getting all the ladies. That look in his eyes… I want to sign up for this man's real estate seminar.

• Why it’s a dread omen of the Bacopocalypse:

OK, so this is a product created for April Fools' Day by the website Archie McFee. But, for just a moment, you believed it could be real. It's like that old courtroom scene where the defense calls their next witness: the alleged murder victim. Everyone gasps and looks to the door, but no one appears. The defense says, ''Gotcha. But you all believed that the victim could walk through that door, thus you have doubt that my client killed him and you must acquit.'' If the world is so porked-up that you believed in a bacon tuxedo, can real bacon tuxedos be far behind?

Sign #5: Bacon Salad Bowl

 

• What?

It's a salad bowl made of bacon. It's a simple idea; you just weave the bacon like a basket over an upside-down muffin tin and bake. How could no one come up with this before? Three words: Secret Ceramic Cabal. They're clearly working behind the scenes to keep the bacon artisan down. Fight the power!

• Why it's a dread omen of the Bacopocalypse:

Like all red-blooded American males, I have viewed salads with suspicion and, let's face it, contempt. In fact, I have never eaten a salad in my life. But these bowls almost make me want to eat a salad. That's gotta be a sign of something.

Sign #6: Bacon Burger

• What?

''Big deal,'' I hear you saying. ''I can get a burger with bacon anywhere.'' Well, listen here, punk. This here ain't no ordinary burger. To paraphrase Charlton Heston, that's not beef. It's a slab of bacon run through a meat grinder, shaped into a patty and fried up in a skillet. Bacon. Burger. You think about that for a minute.

• Why it's a dread omen of the Bacopocalypse:

I want this baconburger. Just looking at the picture, I can feel my arteries clog, yet I still want this baconburger. As I write this, I am eating a perfectly good burger with bacon from down the street, but still I hunger for this baconburger.

Given the chance, this burger will kill you, and everyone you care about. And you will love it.

Sign #7: Bacon Ice Cream

• What?

Yep, that's vanilla ice cream made with bacon chunks. The picture is from an ice cream shop in Delaware, but there’s nothing to stop you from making it at home. In fact, my wife whipped up a batch of bacon and cheddar ice cream for a party we had. (Ha, ha, I married better than you did.)

• Why it's a dread omen of the Bacopocalypse:

Sounds good so far, but this tale reveals a hidden evil. Sure, the vanilla and bacon flavors go well together. And the sharp cheddar nicely contrasts with the sweet cream base. But the cold gives the cheese an awful plastic texture. It caused me to say something I never expected to utter:

''I think this has too much cheese in it.''

Even looking at it now, that sentence doesn't make sense. It looks like the English translation to "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" and we should await the colossal, porcine elder gods to awaken, fry us up and devour us. Possibly with Eldritch pancakes.

Thus we come to the end, not with a bang, but with a sizzle. Heed my words and gird your pork loins for battle on the field of Hamageddon.

 --Dave Conde has long harbored a secret desire to convert to Judaism, but just can't give up the bacon. Send your recipes and comments to androidmanifesto@clear365.com

==============================================================================

For the latest news, sports, entertainment, games and music, visit Clear365.com

 

REVIEW THIS: 5 worst careers to have if you're a movie character

Yeah, yeah, your job sucks. Everyone says it. It's rare to meet a person that loves their job. Most of us grow up wanting to be something cool and fun or meaningful -- a zoo keeper, president of the United States, a fireman, a professional athlete, Willy Wonka's head Oompa Loompa, etc. However, there comes a point in your life where you realize you'd like to have a house or a car or both and then reality sets in -- you have to get a real job. 

No more visions of that rustic mountain ranch for injured animals, no more thoughts of inventing a car that travels on autopilot so you and your friends can drink while driving, and no more sketches of the upscale strip club that will attract only rich people. Nope, you've accepted your fate and have become the person that you and your friends used to swear you'd never become: You've become that accountant, that engineer, that office manager, that Head of Operations -- that "adult."

If only your old self could see you now. The "self" that in college had you preparing for class (or later, work) by doing gravity bongs made out of an old spaghetti pot, an empty liter-bottle of soda and some chewing gum to "block the air leak." The "self" that was sure you could somehow keep time from marching forward. The "self" that thought making pizzas for $6/hour was plenty to live on.

Before you start getting all sad, this blog post is here to tell you that whatever decisions you've made have been good decisions. No matter how much you dislike your job, you're still better off than some people. You may be wondering, "Who are these people?" By the time you're done reading this, not only will you know, you'll feel much better, too. Here are the ...

Top 5 Worst Careers To Have If You Are a Movie Character

#5--Babysitter

It's bad enough that you don't make any money, but you're constantly harassed by prank phone calls, jealous ex-boyfriends and/or mask-wearing homicidal maniacs. The examples throughout film history are limitless, but Jamie Lee Curtis in 'Halloween' represents a pretty standard example of movie-character babysitter. Remember the night she had the next time you think your job stinks.

#4--Henchmen for a Jamaican Witch Doctor

Don't believe me?  Let me assure you that the employment line outside of the Jamaican witch doctor's office is very short right about now.

(Warning: Below 'Marked For Death' clip contains extreme violence, courtesy of overall bad-ass Steven Seagal)

<="<" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" embed="embed" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Gyg8DqnE0qg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" />

#3--Drug Dealer

Don't even think about it -- you'll be lucky if prison is the best outcome. Sure, some of movie drug dealers might live to tell their tales, but not very many. If you went to see a movie in the 1980s, there was a 50/50 chance that the antagonist in the film was a drug dealer who died as a result of his evil ways. Al Pacino alone has died in two films ('Scarface' and 'Carlito's Way') from the effects of dealing drugs. Still think it would be a better job than what you got? Watch this clip, from the 2000 film 'Requiem For a Dream,' below.

#2--Camp Counselor

Everyone knows it's a terrible decision to become a camp counselor. Thanks to movies like 'Friday the 13th' and others, counselor body counts have risen well into the hundreds. Think your job is boring? Maybe you'd like to become a counselor in the cult classic, 'Sleepaway Camp.'

#1--Enemy of Rambo

Pretty simple. If you are an enemy of Rambo, you die. John J. Rambo killed more people in his four films than died in all of World War II combined. He killed so many people that he had to move to Turkey to find more people to kill, as seen in the following clip.

<="<" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" embed="embed" height="344" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qQpETqEZ1Zs&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" />

So the next time you're thinking about how bad you have it at work, be thankful for what you have. You might not be the ringleader of a traveling circus, but at least you're not on Turkish Rambo's list of enemies.

Until next time ...

Johnny Borda, 365 Blogger, Review This!

Get the latest movie, TV and celebrity news at Clear365 Entertainment